The Journey of My Mastery Is The Best Gift I Have Been Able To Give Myself, Because Everything I Have Lived Has Been A Gift

PART 1. Introduction

The relationship you have with yourself comes from the way you relate to others… Boom! The first time I heard this phrase, it felt like a blow to the chest, I know… this phrase doesn’t sound very encouraging, but that’s how it all started. Honestly, I never imagined writing and sharing in social media a very condensed part of my personal story, I was encouraged to do it for several reasons.

Talking over the phone with a very dear old friend that I haven’t seen in a long time, she told me: “Erika, you should write and publish all this that you´re telling me…”. At the time, I didn’t feel so serious, until the second reason came.

2020 was a devastating, painful, strange and uncomfortable year for all of us, but at the same time compassionate. So many changes in many ways, worldwide and personally, physically and energetically, all for a great change on the planet, but more than anything… for a new consciousness. There were people who told me how they were emotionally experiencing the COVID-19 pandemic… not good. Also, when watching news, documentaries, reality shows etc. I was surprised by the lack of self-love in humanity, something I went through myself.

There came a time when enough was enough, that’s when this second reason encouraged me to write, so, here I am, sharing a part of a beautiful, liberating and at the same time challenging path, which I hope will inspire every teacher that lives within each one of you.

PART 2. The Experience as a Loving and Compassionate Service

I truly believe that we are all here on earth partly for the sake of experimenting. There is no right or wrong experience. Every experience in life is created according to what your consciousness resonates at that moment, because that vibration that emanates from within yourself, creates your reality. Therefore, you are the creator of your own reality.

Life, God, Soul or whatever you want to call it, is putting people and situations in your path, some pleasant, some not so pleasant, but in the end… in my experience, I can tell you that some were necessary to know myself even more and some to get me out of the comfort zone in which I lived. My soul knew that the end of those experiences had come and it was time to move on to the next ones.

I remember that sometimes I came home with a mix of emotions in my heart. There were moments when I didn´t want to know about anything or anyone. I felt a pain that dragged me to the depths of my heart, but always, always, always, there was a light, that beautiful feeling, that voice that whispered “keep going”. Some call it intuition, others call it spirit, others guardian angel or whatever, at that moment I didn’t know what it was, I just got up, I did what I had to do and that´s it. Now I know, for me, it was my soul (I feel more connected with that word now), the I Am within me.

As I lived these kinds of experiences over and over again, there came a time when I had the opportunity to leave a life behind, and start a new life without having the slightest idea of what I was going to do or what was going to happen. Now, looking back at those twenty-two years of my life, I know that behind of each one of those experiences, there was a loving and compassionate service that I did not know how to see at that time.

PART 3. The Beginning

I felt free, happy, sure of myself and with all the confidence to start a new life (or so I believed). One morning, in the transition from sleep to awakening, without having dreamed about something specific, I received a message and the name of a friend. I got up so fast and surprised that I ran out of my bedroom to tell my parents. I told my friend all about it, and I begin to work on the project that came to me through that message, not knowing that this was the beginning of a beautiful journey, not only for my professional growth, but also to recognize and love all that I am.

I have always enjoyed meditating. Almost every day I gave myself a moment to be with myself, just breathing in the present moment, although sometimes, due to the lifestyle I led, it was not possible.

I started reading and listening to beautiful materials about the evolution of consciousness (channeled by a very dear friend and master). The more I read about it, the more I wanted to learn it. This topic fascinated me, it was my favorite moment! And it was this joy and “new” knowledge (now I know that it was nothing new, it was just a matter of allowing myself to remember that knowledge and wisdom we all have) that led me to work on my inner self, or rather, to ease my energy.

After always looking for answers to that long list of questions and emotional burdens that I analyzed so much in therapy sessions, I had finally found something that resonated in my heart, that click of… aha of course! and that only I could do it.

PART 4. Let the Fun Begin!

Behind my personality, there was a woman who, without knowing it, recognized herself through other people, through her experiences… from the outside and not from the inside. In that lack of inner recognition, I was adopting beliefs, thinking that there was something wrong with me, and creating aspects or identities to express myself and handle certain situations, aspects such as fear, judgment, shame, guilt and anxiety, among many others.

These parts of me were wandering around out there, leading me to distractions with numerous dead ends, returning again and again to my mind, which is why, my consciousness was not aware of things. I did not enjoy or live in the present moment. I was living under the belief of being a secure, fulfilled woman… instead, I was surviving under these wounded, lost aspects, responding to my life experiences with a lack of self-love, fulfillment, confidence, sovereignty and true freedom.

What I didn’t know is that I had created an imbalance in my consciousness that was separating me from my soul, the I Am within me. I chose to ease my energy, without judging myself, so that I could gradually reintegrate each aspect within me, to all that I Am, no matter how challenging and painful it was.

Over time, I realized that it was not about controlling these aspects or pushing them aside, denying and/or judging them, as this would generate more confusion for me and I would fall back into the game. It was about creating a safe space through my compassionate breathing, in the present moment. It was about making a conscious choice, inviting each aspect, one by one, and always focusing on my heart. It was a matter of my masculine and feminine energies slowly falling in love again, and allowing my inner and divine balance to return. What some call peace of mind. Keeping it simple. During the process, there were situations and “tests” that I was facing to get back to trusting myself, in my soul, despite the doubts that arose, which gave me the opportunity to consider different perspectives of the situation.

The interesting thing about these aspects is that I understood that they are only energy, that they are not bigger than me, and although it may not seem like it, each one of them gave me a service in which I could recognize myself, experience wisdom, which is the essence of every situation, and go beyond the mind for my personal and spiritual growth.

PART 5. The Mastery Continues

Humanity has related to love (whether it is self-love, partner, friends, etc.) as well as to its duality, fears, limitations, needs, deficiencies, etc. to possibly fill some void they carry inside. In my case, once I became aware of it, I first had to be a Master of Myself, to lose everything along the way, to learn that the way out is not to look for answers outside myself, but to enter into the infinite mystery of all that I Am. Only this way, I could have a new relationship with my own energy again.

I was able to understand that it was not about being perfect, or judging or demanding myself, nor about always being right, nor about taking things so seriously. Nor was it about competing with others, convincing others of my achievements, or worrying about what others think or say about what I say or do. I now know that I do not need to change the way others think or act, or praise anyone to have their attention. It was about first understanding where I was feeding from, asking myself if something served me, or if I needed this or that thing or aspect, without judging myself. It was about forgiving and forgiving myself. I was finally able to understand my consciousness, my belief systems, which were the way in which I perceived my reality. I was also able to understand that I was solely responsible for my choices and actions, and I could not blame anything or anyone else for my reality.

The relationship with yourself is simply about the relationship you have with your own energy. It is about being your truth, being and accepting yourself as you are, loving your body, loving all that you are, being compassionate with yourself and your surroundings. It sounds logical and easy, but it requires being truly honest with yourself and having an implicit trust with yourself, no matter in which situation you find yourself.

Mastery is not something you start at, reach, or aspire to. In my case, there was no exact moment when I started it, I just had not realized that I had been experiencing it for a lifetime, until I became aware of it. It was then that I chose to move forward. It was simply a matter of choice and commitment to myself. In my Mastery journey, not everything has been difficult and challenging. I was also experiencing wonderful, magical and inexplicable moments full of synchronicities and beautiful gifts that my soul has given me (words often limit experiences, it is more fun not to try to analyze everything). Little by little I have been transcending each layer that created my reality and I could finally feel my soul, the I Am within me, which has always been there. There are always new experiences and learnings, only now, I live my life from a different perspective, with more fluidity and clarity of who I really am and how to live fully as I am. Now I know that the path of my Mastery is the best gift I have been able to give myself, because everything I have lived has been a gift.

Namaste!

Erika Von Finck